Mocha Angels 365. Day 328.

It’s easy to go on the defensive when your partner is coming at you crazy. No adult likes to be accused of anything, because we are all perfect right? (smile)

Diffuse the situation. Keep listening to her if you can without losing your temper. Close your mouth. Once you say something, you can’t un-say it. Walk away. Tell her you’ll be back in an hour or two.

One purpose of relationships is to cultivate a deeper understanding of your partner so you understand where he is coming from… to look deeply to see how that person was made.

The other purpose of relationships is to grow as a person. Because when we look deeply inside ourselves, we find out the conditions that made ourselves. (From Saturdays post on the audiobook Being Love.)

So while you are away, take that time to honestly ask yourself what you have done to contribute to the conflict. Ask yourself if you are caught up in your ego. If you need another perspective, call a friend or relative who will be honest with you. One who has no problem calling you out if you are indeed wrong.

All relationships are not going to work out. If you continue to check your own stuff, and evolve as a person, the quality of your relationships will improve.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know.

Mocha Angels 365. Day 324.

A segment on Cops I saw a few years ago highlights this point. This older brother, maybe in his fifties…he didn’t say his age because he was too busy running from the police…was having a rough night. A repeat offender, he was being chased for selling marijuana. He was caught, with three cops on top of him trying to handcuff him. Face down on the ground, the brother said, “I’m getting too old for this shit…”

Ya’ think so?

As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

Sometimes you really don’t know better. Sometimes you absolutely know better, but you do it anyway out of fear. Those are the mistakes that really get you into trouble.

Bottom line: life is always teaching you lessons. See your mistakes for what they are without drowning in self-pity, remorse, guilt, depression, and the always popular beat-yourself-up-constantly-for-your-the-errors-of-your-ways. Do the opposite of what you’ve been doing to create a new life.