Mocha Angels 365. Day 328.

It’s easy to go on the defensive when your partner is coming at you crazy. No adult likes to be accused of anything, because we are all perfect right? (smile)

Diffuse the situation. Keep listening to her if you can without losing your temper. Close your mouth. Once you say something, you can’t un-say it. Walk away. Tell her you’ll be back in an hour or two.

One purpose of relationships is to cultivate a deeper understanding of your partner so you understand where he is coming from… to look deeply to see how that person was made.

The other purpose of relationships is to grow as a person. Because when we look deeply inside ourselves, we find out the conditions that made ourselves. (From Saturdays post on the audiobook Being Love.)

So while you are away, take that time to honestly ask yourself what you have done to contribute to the conflict. Ask yourself if you are caught up in your ego. If you need another perspective, call a friend or relative who will be honest with you. One who has no problem calling you out if you are indeed wrong.

All relationships are not going to work out. If you continue to check your own stuff, and evolve as a person, the quality of your relationships will improve.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know.

Mocha Angels 365. Day 326.

I’ve been listening to an audio book called Being Love- Teachings to Cultivate Awareness and Intimacy by Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh. The audio is about an hour and twelve minutes long. Around the fifty-five minute mark, he talks about self-love.

Hanh says ( I’m paraphrasing and cutting it down a bit), “May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love. Many people cannot accept themselves. They are at war with themselves. If we look deeply inside ourselves, we find out the conditions that made ourselves. And then we accept ourselves with our suffering and our happiness at the same time.”

He follows with talking about our relationships with other people, not just intimate relationships: “And we know that to love is to accept ourselves as we are…to accept the other person as she is…as he is…and looking deeply to see how that person was made.”

Hanh shows us how to cultivate the four basic qualities of authentic love: Maitri (lovingkindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (joy), and Upeksha (freedom). It’s a very grounded approach to love. It teaches how to sincerely listen to others and love them in a way that is freeing for both people. Being Love is a beautiful book. I’ll be listening to it over and over again.

10 out of 10 Mocha Angels.

Click to listen.

Mocha Angels 365. Day 325.

Instead of worrying about money, do these things instead:

  • Write down five things/people/events you are grateful for every night.
  • Be happy for other people’s success. Don’t be a hater.
  • Ask the Universe to open your mind to new opportunities.
  • Harness your natural skills and abilities.
  • Create a side hustle.
  • Clean out your house of stuff you no longer use/need/want. Make room for the new.
  • Check your beliefs about money.
  • Act like you have it. See Monday’s Mocha Angel message.

Mocha Angels 365. Day 324.

A segment on Cops I saw a few years ago highlights this point. This older brother, maybe in his fifties…he didn’t say his age because he was too busy running from the police…was having a rough night. A repeat offender, he was being chased for selling marijuana. He was caught, with three cops on top of him trying to handcuff him. Face down on the ground, the brother said, “I’m getting too old for this shit…”

Ya’ think so?

As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

Sometimes you really don’t know better. Sometimes you absolutely know better, but you do it anyway out of fear. Those are the mistakes that really get you into trouble.

Bottom line: life is always teaching you lessons. See your mistakes for what they are without drowning in self-pity, remorse, guilt, depression, and the always popular beat-yourself-up-constantly-for-your-the-errors-of-your-ways. Do the opposite of what you’ve been doing to create a new life.

Mocha Angels 365. Day 323.

This is similar to Matthew 18:20 – For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them .

When two or more people meditate on love, peace, God, goodness, kindness, any positive adjective, that’s the energy that shows up. Good things happen.

You can never go wrong meditating and visualizing love. The more of us who do that, the more the world shifts in a positive direction. Based on the history of mankind, that’s a tall order. (Okay, impossible.)

So focus on shifting your personal world into a more positive space. Everyone around you will benefit. If you’ve experienced that shift, share it with me here on the blog.

Mocha Angels 365. Day 321.

We do have control over our thoughts, actions, and feelings. When you get into the feeling space of what you desire, now you are in the manifestation lane. You act like you have it already.

For instance, back in 1997, I interviewed for a job at an internet company. I wanted that job so much. Post-interview, as I waited to hear back from the company, I decided to “act like” I already worked there. Before I’d go to my actual job, I’d drive over to the internet company “as if” I was going to work. Once, I stopped in to say hello. That job was mine and no one was taking it from me.

I got the job.

Later, I found out that I was a “pity interview.” The group that interviewed me only brought me in because they didn’t want to cancel. The day before, they had found their perfect candidate. No one could be better than homegirl, but we’ll interview Althea anyway.

Althea knocked their socks off. They were impressed with my soap opera and pop culture knowledge, which was important to the job.

I acted like it was mine…

It sounds crazy, but feeling all the intimate details of your desire will indeed bring it to you. The point of power is always in the present moment (that’s a Louise Hay quote).

Mocha Angels 365. Day 320.

It’s Sunday! If you don’t already have plans, stay home and chill….When I have off days, sometimes I stay in my pajamas. When my kids come home from school, my youngest son says, “You need to change your clothes.” ::smile::

No, I don’t. Like so many of you, I have to raise children, go to work, run errands, cook, clean, wash clothes, pay bills, deal with life stuff…oh, and work hard to build a brand every single day.

No one, except James Brown and Samuel L. Jackson, gets an award for the hardest working person on the planet. It’s okay to stop, or sleep, or watch movies, or read a book. Your family needs you to rest. Let me know what a “stay at home pajama day” looks like for you.